Fashion Symbols with Aynura Maye

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Mother Archetype V – Exaggerated Maternal Instinct

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The turn now is for females. Mothers equally shape daughters’ nature (and destiny for that matter!) too. This doesn’t intend, however, to diminish by any means the undeniable father-daughter bond. That said, ladies, let’s get going and see who we recognize in the following four posts – Our mom? Cousins? Aunties? Mother-in-laws? The lady next door? Or maybe ourselves?

Jung divides effects of the Mother Complex in females into three major categories. It ranges from exaggeration to extinction of maternal instinct and one transitional type in between.

Hypertrophy of Motherhood

Today’s category is exaggeration or hypertrophy of the maternal instinct. This means intensification of all female instincts, above all, the maternal instinct to a point where the only goal is childbirth. To her the husband is just another object to look after like house, furniture etc. Even her own personality is secondary. She lives her life through others – the objects that she identifies herself with and takes care of. First she gives birth to the children, and from then on she clings to them. Because without them she has no existence whatsoever. This type of woman, though continually “living for others,” is, as a matter of fact, unable to make any real sacrifice.

Driven by ruthless will to power, she fanatically insists on her own maternal rights. Sadly, often succeed in annihilating not only her own personality but also the personal lives of her children. The less conscious such a mother is of her own personality, the greater and the more violent is her unconscious will to power. Ok, I’ll stop here, too scary? Who are we observing so far?

Glorified Motherhood

On the positive side, this is the image of the mother which has been glorified in all ages and all tongues. Without doubt, this is the mother-love associated with warm memories, motherland, homecoming and safe shelter from all dangers.

Read other posts of the series:
Mother Archetype I
Mother Archetype II – Son Lover of the Mother Goddess
Mother Archetype III – Don Juanism
Mother Archetype IV – Homosexuality and Impotence
Mother Archetype VI – Home-wrecker with a mission
Mother Archetype VII – Daughter in Shadow
Mother Archetype VIII – Mom Hater
Mother Archetype IX – Part Human, Part Supernatural
Mother Archetype X – Motherland
Mother Archetype XI – Teenage Crisis – Libido
Mother Archetype XII – Incest: Problem or Solution?

Mother Archetype IV: Homosexuality

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According to Jung, the typical effect on the other end of the curve on the sons is homosexuality and even impotence. See previous post for the effect of Don Juanism on the other end of the curve. In cases as homosexuality, the son’s entire heterosexuality is tied to the mother in an unconscious form. Receptivity, intuitiveness and other feminine traits coming from such bond translate to a kind of creative and insightful personality. Unsurprisingly, such men may have good taste and an aesthetic sense. Again, thanks to the presence of a feminine streak, such people may be very good at teaching too. On top of all, this sort of insight and tact would allow them spiritual receptivity, responsiveness to revelation and appreciation of history.

This description from Jung makes me reflect on my own life experience. Interestingly enough, the most insightful friends I’ve ever had, as a rule have been homosexuals. As they have perspectives of both genders, deep conversations with them is just pure delight. I may commit a serious crime here, but such description gives me an idea. It may also explain why we see more homosexuals in some professions, such as fashion design, than others. Obviously, it doesn’t mean that all fashion designers are homosexuals.   

Yet, Jung believes, son’s mother complex doesn’t appear in pure form because of the difference in gender. Along this complex, the archetype Anima plays an important part. This is the Archetype that gets projected on man’s sexual counterpart and guides the man through the separation process from the Mother.

Read other posts of the series:
Mother Archetype I
Mother Archetype II – Son Lover of the Mother Goddess
Mother Archetype III – Don Juanism
Mother Archetype V – Exaggerated Maternal Instinct
Mother Archetype VI – Home-wrecker with a mission
Mother Archetype VII – Daughter in Shadow
Mother Archetype VIII – Mom Hater
Mother Archetype IX – Part Human, Part Supernatural
Mother Archetype X – Motherland
Mother Archetype XI – Teenage Crisis – Libido
Mother Archetype XII – Incest: Problem or Solution?

Mother Archetype III – Don Juanism

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In this post we’ll talk more about the specific effects of dysfunctional mother bond that Jung observed in adult men.

He dubbed the first and most visible effect of failed separation Don Juanism. Or what we call Shiny Object Syndrome – jumping from one woman to the other in unconscious search of mother. Being torn between love life and emotional ties to mother, sense of guilt and betrayal, failure to build deep emotional bonds with partner, even madness-like behavior in relationships are some of characteristics of this type. Needless to say, such life abounds problems in sexual life, relationships, especially, in marriages.  

Infantile Romantic, Revolutionary Spirit

Interestingly, the whole career path of such men, as bright as it seems, would just be an infantile wish to make mother happy. Boy, is this type quite successful in professional territory. But such success often comes at a high cost. As successful professionals they concentrate on developing manly side and the persona they put outside. Continuously repressing emotional side, they leave that part underdeveloped. Shall I say, they carry kind of little miserable, deranged woman inside that squeaks through the mouth of that strong man when tempers are lost in a hot debate? Apparently, the longer this state continues, the wider the cleavage becomes between the image a man puts on the outside and emotional dilemmas that boggle him inside.

Mother Complex, on the other hand, manifests as bold and resolute manliness; ambitious striving after the highest goals; opposition to all stupidity, narrow-mindedness, willingness to make sacrifices for what is regarded as right – kind of infantile romanticism. They are revolutionary spirits which strive to put a new face on the old, tired world.

Sincerely, this description scares me when I think of heroes of all times. While we saw them as heroes, they were battling (albeit, outside) the devouring bonds of infantile attachments inside. Anyway, there is a good news for those struggling with this problem. It is natural and in fact, destined to happen and be resolved. The younger years it happens, the healthier. Just like our body learns to drag along with limp foot or broken arm, our psyche learns to drag on with misplaced attachment too. But it comes at the cost of personal life. It is about cutting off that energy from that infantile attachment to direct upwards. Tip: here a big role is played by the partner, on whom another archetype – Anima gets projected! Next post about men who at the other end of the curve.

Read previous posts of the series:
Mother Archetype I
Mother Archetype II – Son Lover of the Mother Goddess
Mother Archetype IV – Homosexuality and Impotence
Mother Archetype V – Exaggerated Maternal Instinct
Mother Archetype VI – Home-wrecker with a mission
Mother Archetype VII – Daughter in Shadow
Mother Archetype VIII – Mom Hater
Mother Archetype IX – Part Human, Part Supernatural
Mother Archetype X – Motherland
Mother Archetype XI – Teenage Crisis – Libido
Mother Archetype XII – Incest: Problem or Solution?

Mother Archetype II – Son Lover of the Mother Goddess

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As we said in the previous post, first we’ll talk about mother complex in sons, later in daughters (at infancy daughter-father relationship is the topic!). In the first years of infant’s life Mother is the safe heaven (warm container and nourisher). In the dark layers of our mind this tender bond of early childhood is registered as a perfect union. Jung has collected many examples – paintings, carvings etc. and labeled this relationship as “Son Lover of the Mother Goddess”. When we say lover, obviously we understand a sexual relationship. Yet in that dark land sexuality means more than just a sexual union (that too). Sex is the most representative example of instinctuality. Symbolically, it means a very strong bond – like one can’t exist without the other (by the way, many times it has the same meaning in dreams too – just a tip, if you ever happen to have that sort of dream, do not take it literally).

This perfection lasts until when? Puberty!  Intense changes start to take place in the psychic landscape of a son and a long lasting drama ensues. We all know how turbulent this period is for both boys and girls. Always, the least wanted kid at school has the “coolest parents” and life can’t be more miserable – we all have been there, right? Interestingly, this drama is even nastier inside our head, what gets to the surface is in fact just a tip of the iceberg. Again because this is never only about just a mother and her son.

Jung, C.G, (1956) Symbols of Transformation, pp205

Destined to separate

Did we say in the previous post that the psyche was like the Great Mother to our fragile rational mind? Now we are getting into a bit of dark forest. Let’s put it this way – in the early years of life human baby lives mostly an instinctual life (in other words, without the conscious mind) and develops cognitive mind slowly (and laboriously), right? As baby grows along the years of childhood, the conscious mind grows too. Putting it in a fancy word, at some point, plateau is hit. “The container”, the Great Mother (the unconscious) can’t hold it any more. Or, let’s say, the fruit is ripen now and the tree brunch can’t hold it any more, it is destined to fall, to get separated from the mother tree. I think I am getting too poetic here. Let’s come back to our topic.

Eventually, to grow further the conscious mind seeks to differentiate and separate itself from the dark mass/the unconscious. Obviously, the Great Mother gets mad and fights back. But it doesn’t end there. The fragile conscious, on one hand wants to stay in that safe heaven. While leaping into unknown territories, a.k.a life ahead feels dreadful, staying in is now more harmful bordering on neurosis. One hand pushes forward, another hand pulls back – and a bloody battle ensues within the unconscious content. That irritability and confusion the teenagers feel is just a shadow of the bloody battle going deep inside. However, if this process doesn’t happen, it is worrisome too….Stay for more…

Read other posts of the series:

Mother Archetype I
Mother Archetype III – Don Juanism
Mother Archetype IV – Homosexuality and Impotence
Mother Archetype V – Exaggerated Maternal Instinct
Mother Archetype VI – Home-wrecker with a mission
Mother Archetype VII – Daughter in Shadow
Mother Archetype VIII – Mom Hater
Mother Archetype IX – Part Human, Part Supernatural
other Archetype X – Motherland
Mother Archetype XI – Teenage Crisis – Libido
Mother Archetype XII – Incest: Problem or Solution?

The Mother Archetype I – The Great Mother

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The series of the Mother Archetype was published on social media first, namely, at my Instagram and facebook accounts where I post more frequently. Now, with few edits, I am publishing it here too. I’ll keep the number and lengths of the posts about the same. Let’s begin!

Tabula Rasa?

For a long time, scholars kept debating whether we are born as white papers (I mean our brains). Then some smart people started to suspect that our brain is capable of creating its own reality. Long debates of rhetoric revolved around the topic. Then psychoanalysts came along and took a more pragmatic position based on, let’s say, the data they collected from patients, or putting it less fancy, they summed up repetitive cases they have observed in their patients. One of them was Carl Gustav Jung, who suggested that when we are born, our body doesn’t have an animal shape. We do not look like clouds either. We have a definite shape that long history has formed. How come, this same thing didn’t happen inside our head? The same formation process must have taken place there too. He dedicated his whole life to the study of the structure of our psyche and reached some conclusions.

The Archetypes

According to his conclusions, our psyche has a structure – randomly organized crystal-form like boxes, or honeycomb. These boxes hold information based on feelings and feeling-toned thoughts. So, attention to the feeling toned thoughts or clouds of associated thoughts, which means they do not function the way we do in our waking life – no reason and no logic in there. He called them Archetypes. They are the ones that produce cryptic symbols, or primordial images as he sometimes called (this reminds me of the movie Da Vinci code). He even went further to say that we actually live in there and project everything to the outer world. Actually, these crystal form structures are powerful sources of energy. Apparently, one of these Archetypes is the Great Mother.

The Great Mother

Did we say that the feeling association is what keeps the information together inside those boxes? Anything that is associated with Containing, Nourishing and Safe Nest (keywords) activates the primordial image of Mother and we automatically project the Mother Archetype on that object. Now, the first object this archetype gets projected on is obviously actual Mother. Along the years as we grow up, get old and move towards the inevitable destination – the death, the projected objects of this Archetype change too.

Also read: The Unconscious – The Great Mother

Yet, I’d like to make an important projection that is ever present regardless which period of life we are at. The totality of psyche (or the unconscious) is like home (nest) to our rational mind that we’ve developed in the later years of evolution. So the psyche is like “mother” to this “new kid”. In times when our conscious ego faces difficulties in physical life (or the outer world), it craves to turn back home, to the unconscious depth, from where it “was born”. Do we repeat the same pattern in life? Yes, when we face hardships in life, we crave to go back to the carefree childhood or return to cozy home. Oops, we just did very common projection.

A recent claim of neuroscientist David Eaglemann that there is no smell, no sound and no color around us, we live in a pseudo reality translated to us by a skull-bound three pounds jelly matter called brain gave more scientific support to Jung’s suggestions.

I’ll stop here before going off-topic. We’ll talk about the Mother Archetype and its influence on sons in the following post.

Read other posts of the series:
Mother Archetype II – Son Lover of the Mother Goddess
Mother Archetype III – Don Juanism
Mother Archetype IV – Homosexuality and Impotence
Mother Archetype V – Exaggerated Maternal Instinct
Mother Archetype VI – Home-wrecker with a mission
Mother Archetype VII – Daughter in Shadow
Mother Archetype VIII – Mom Hater
Mother Archetype IX – Part Human, Part Supernatural
other Archetype X – Motherland
Mother Archetype XI – Teenage Crisis – Libido
Mother Archetype XII – Incest: Problem or Solution?

Photo: Pixabay.com, Gerd Altmann

Celebration of Hope for New Beginning at the Time of COVID-19

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Interestingly, this year, in a new reality 0f COVID-19, when we painfully realize that we need each-other to survive, major ritualistic holidays almost overlap. Easter and Passover are days apart. Both less than a full month after Novruz, a Zoroastrian ritual and days before the beginning of the month of Ramadan.

Today these rituals make part of the three major monotheistic religions. I am well aware that each of these religions is source of belief and solace for its followers. Also each has developed distinct personified story lines.

Yet, at a time like this, I rather emphasize on our commonness, not differences.  All these rituals express our willingness to give sacrifices for the hope of New Day and New Beginning.

As we humans developed consciousness, we’ve experienced these rituals in a higher, complex celestial dimension. Yet Jung believes (and following his steps, I believe), such rituals simply transcend any certain dogma, religion and belief system. They are rooted at our synchronicity with Nature. Thus it’s our common psychic tendency to do things in a way that we do without realizing the why. To him, these holidays are relic of archaic solstice and equinox celebrations of primitive man. He calls it “profound urge to celebrate fertility and rebirth”. As food supply and scarcity is not that remote topic these days the importance of fertility makes itself felt.

Egg – Seed of Life

Egg, characteristic element of three of these holidays (except Ramadan), is an eternal symbol of seed of life. It is a “cosmic womb” from which new life will grow. Egg-related rituals lay it out beautifully – egg hiding, egg fight, egg hunt – all allude to the curiosity to rejoice the new life.

As celebrated with doors closed, these rituals will bring sense of unity and comfort even more against all uncertainties imposed by COVID-19.  They will move us just the way they moved and dictated the behavior of our great ancestors who acted on unconscious impulses only.

Happy celebration of different but the same holidays to all,

xx

Lockdown in Italy, random thoughts

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It has almost been a week that Italy has gone into total lockdown. Witnessing the solidarity and unity that the whole country demonstrates in these difficult times is something I’ll treasure forever. Being refugee myself, this is not the most difficult time I’ve had to endure, but what we are living now reminds me the wisdom I had read from C.G.Jung. Now not quoting exactly, recalling from my memory.
When we think of good and bad, light and darkness, we associate peace with good/light and war with bad/darkness. We forget that good and bad are not static. They are dynamic and always exist together in us and everything surrounding us. When peace lasts too long, human memory tends to forget the bitter lessons of war. Humans forget what kind of tragedies ego-centric attitude and interest-driven greed can cause. So just by lasting too long, peace carries ‘bad’ agent, or ripens ‘Bad’.
On the contrary, War, being one of the worst and the most painful events that humans can experience, teaches an important lesson. The agony of tragedy makes us feel the pain of others. We learn Empathy, Trust, Alturism and Collaboration are the basics to survive. So as horrible as War is, it carries a good agent – it ripens ‘Good’.
While recent years had been marked with so much controversy everywhere, the danger of COVID2019 has drastically changed priorities and refreshed our latent memory – long forgotten after the world wars – individualism and ego-centric priorities are fine-tune luxuries that can be afforded in good times. In the end what matter in dark days for survival are Empathy, Trust in fellow man, Solidarity and Collaboration.
We’ve closed our doors in solidarity… not to separate… but to protect – ourselves and all those who want to survive just like us!
Stay in’n safe all.