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Mother Archetype VIII – Mom Hater

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I must confess, it’s extremely hard to concentrate these days. Sometimes I find myself poking around for hours on social media, which leaves me almost nauseated afterwards. Worst part, I can’t stop doing it. My hand reaches my phone secretly. I put it away, suddenly I find myself opening a new internet page on computer. It feels like a whirlwind. But determined, today will finish another post in the series of the Mother Archetype. The last category of daughters – the stubborn “mom-hater”.

“Mom hate” driven life

Yes, you heard it, this is the fourth category-the last of four that Jung identified. He labels this category as Resistance to the Mother or Extreme Negative Mother Complex. Mom hater knows what she doesn’t want. But is usually completely lost as to what she would choose as her own fate. She concentrates all her instincts on the mother in the form of resistance. Obviously, such resistance (or straightforward hate?) would usually take symbolic form. Such as her resistance to or complete indifference to anything that comes under the head of family, community, society, convention etc. The mother as material, “matter”, may be at the back of her impatience with objects, clumsy handling of tools and bad taste in clothes.

Highly intellectual, this type of woman creates an environment ruled by sharp reasoning, cool judgment and superior knowledge where mother’s instinctual power doesn’t have a room. Thus, anything dark, obscure and unclear in her own nature is frustrating for her. Enter her “hate” zone. And all the while the world and life pass by her like a dream—an annoying source of illusions, disappointments, and irritations. All of which are due solely to the fact that she cannot bring herself to look straight ahead. Her own nature is what she fights against the hardest. Yet, the clarity of her mind makes her indispensable in professional life and she can make a great advisor.

Private Life of Mom Hater

She rebels with every fiber of her being against everything that springs from natural soil. Simultaneously she gets dominated in negative form by what she runs away. All instinctive processes meet with unexpected difficulties. It can be sexuality does not function properly, or the children are unwanted, or maternal duties seem unbearable etc. Even resistance to the mother (as uterus) may manifest itself in menstrual disturbances, failure of conception, disgust of pregnancy, hemorrhages and excessive vomiting during pregnancy, miscarriages, etc.

Fate doesn’t stop surprising even more. Interestingly, she may end up picking a partner that has her mother’s traits. Such women tend to live a more meaningful life in the second half of their lives only if they manage to face and digest that hellish obscurity of “femininity” and “maternity”.

Read other posts of the series:
Mother Archetype I
Mother Archetype II – Son Lover of the Mother Goddess
Mother Archetype III – Don Juanism
Mother Archetype IV – Homosexuality and Impotence
Mother Archetype V – Exaggerated Maternal Instinct
Mother Archetype VI – Home-Wrecker With a Mission
Mother Archetype VII – Shadow Daughter
Mother Archetype IX – Part Human, Part Supernatural

Cover photo: Gerd Altmann, Pixabay.com

Mother Archetype VII – Shadow Daughter

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I can’t believe it has been over a month that I haven’t returned to this section. I had intended to finish up the Mother Archetype series this month. This makes me think, when the Mother, or any sort of manifestation of the Mother Archetype is in trouble, nothing matters. These four weeks have felt like a blink. The strong emotional turmoil left everything else in a dark shadow. Slowly, I am trying to pull myself together and finish up the series.

The last post was about the effects of the Mother Archetype on the daughters falling into the second category. Jung had labeled it as Overdevelopment of Eros. Now, the turn is for the third category.

Life in Shadow

Read other posts of the series:
Mother Archetype I
Mother Archetype II – Son Lover of the Mother Goddess
Mother Archetype III – Don Juanism
Mother Archetype IV – Homosexuality and Impotence
Mother Archetype V – Exaggerated Maternal Instinct
Mother Archetype VI – Home-Wrecker With a Mission
Mother Archetype VIII – Mom Hater
Mother Archetype IX – Part Human, Part Supernatural

Jung called this category “Identity with Mother”. Or simply shadow daughter. This type of woman associates herself totally with the mother and lives kind of shadow life. It paralyzes her feminine initiatives. Everything which reminds her of motherhood, responsibility, personal relationships, and erotic demands arouses feelings of inferiority and compels her to run away—to her mother, who lives to perfection. She clings to her mother in selfless devotion. At the same time unconsciously striving, almost against her will, to tyrannize over her. Personal relationship is torture for her as it robs her off the mother.

In sum, she is that passive, helpless female image that doesn’t know a thing, that suffering and injured innocent. The type that only “the true hero will rescue”. Such women are kind of empty container that will hold whatever is put into. So they will put up with whatever life puts on their plate. Their partner will mold them into whatever pleases him.

Behind Each Successful Man?

On the good side, if skilled, this type, happy with living a shadow life will project her virtues on her partner pushing him upwards. That’s why sometimes totally incapable men are in unfit positions and praised for qualities that do not have.

Read other posts of the series:
Mother Archetype I
Mother Archetype II – Son Lover of the Mother Goddess
Mother Archetype III – Don Juanism
Mother Archetype IV – Homosexuality and Impotence
Mother Archetype V – Exaggerated Maternal Instinct
Mother Archetype VI – Home-Wrecker With a Mission
Mother Archetype VIII – Mom Hater
Mother Archetype IX – Part Human, Part Supernatural

Mother Archetype VI – Home-wrecker with a mission

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The previous post was on overdose of the maternal instinct and this post will be about the other end of the spectrum. The “home wrecker” with wiped out maternal instinct who comes with a pre-destined mission. Jung labelled this type as Overdevelopment of Eros.

Woman falling into this category tends to overdevelop intellectual aspect and block maternal instincts in repulsion to the first type women. Remember that entirely instinctive, blind, love-wrapped, yet awfully dangerous hypertrophic mother type from the previous post? Yes, that one. Naturally such daughter develops deep admiration to father and idolizes him. The unconscious urge of this type of woman is to outdo the mother. How we call it now? – Daddy’s princess? Or mommy’s little rival at home?

Femme Fatale – anything but maternal instinct

Such mindset sets the background for quite some disastrous decisions and lifestyle choices. For example, series of romantic relationships and dramas with married men. It just gives them an opportunity to wreck a marriage (to apparently, outdo that rival at home). Once mission is completed, she moves on to the next victim. Apparently, no relationship should lead to where maternal instincts are involved – femme fatale with the touch of acute intellect – as we know it. They also tend to put an abnormal emphasis on the personality of others.

Here obviously, we talk about the extreme representations of the complex. As Jung highlights, none of the types exist in the purest form. The features of the dominating type often blends in many subtle shades of other types. Which in fact, could become enablers of transformation at certain phases of life.

Not your usual home-wrecker

Yet, on the positive side, such woman unconsciously reacts to men who are either strangled in an oppressive relationship or stifled with mother attachments. So she is kind of “rescuer of suffocating man”, if gone too far, a home-wrecker. So not all home-wreckers are made equal. Some have pre-destined mission of being a correction factor. That’s why, no matter where she comes in, she arouses moral conflict and disturbance. She represents the other side of the river. Yet, many times, along the process she becomes disturbed too if she awakens to her hidden purpose.

Most interestingly, according to Jung, her way to detach a man tangled in mother attachments (and complete that secret mission) passes through her own painful discovery and reconciliation with her once wiped out maternal instincts.

Stay tuned for the third type.

Read other posts of the series:
Mother Archetype I
Mother Archetype II – Son Lover of the Mother Goddess
Mother Archetype III – Don Juanism
Mother Archetype IV – Homosexuality and Impotence
Mother Archetype V – Exaggerated Maternal Instinct
Mother Archetype VII – Daughter in Shadow
Mother Archetype VIII – Mom Hater
Mother Archetype IX – Part Human, Part Supernatural
Mother Archetype X – Motherland
Mother Archetype XI – Teenage Crisis – Libido
Mother Archetype XII – Incest: Problem or Solution?

Mother Archetype V – Exaggerated Maternal Instinct

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The turn now is for females. Mothers equally shape daughters’ nature (and destiny for that matter!) too. This doesn’t intend, however, to diminish by any means the undeniable father-daughter bond. That said, ladies, let’s get going and see who we recognize in the following four posts – Our mom? Cousins? Aunties? Mother-in-laws? The lady next door? Or maybe ourselves?

Jung divides effects of the Mother Complex in females into three major categories. It ranges from exaggeration to extinction of maternal instinct and one transitional type in between.

Hypertrophy of Motherhood

Today’s category is exaggeration or hypertrophy of the maternal instinct. This means intensification of all female instincts, above all, the maternal instinct to a point where the only goal is childbirth. To her the husband is just another object to look after like house, furniture etc. Even her own personality is secondary. She lives her life through others – the objects that she identifies herself with and takes care of. First she gives birth to the children, and from then on she clings to them. Because without them she has no existence whatsoever. This type of woman, though continually “living for others,” is, as a matter of fact, unable to make any real sacrifice.

Driven by ruthless will to power, she fanatically insists on her own maternal rights. Sadly, often succeed in annihilating not only her own personality but also the personal lives of her children. The less conscious such a mother is of her own personality, the greater and the more violent is her unconscious will to power. Ok, I’ll stop here, too scary? Who are we observing so far?

Glorified Motherhood

On the positive side, this is the image of the mother which has been glorified in all ages and all tongues. Without doubt, this is the mother-love associated with warm memories, motherland, homecoming and safe shelter from all dangers.

Read other posts of the series:
Mother Archetype I
Mother Archetype II – Son Lover of the Mother Goddess
Mother Archetype III – Don Juanism
Mother Archetype IV – Homosexuality and Impotence
Mother Archetype VI – Home-wrecker with a mission
Mother Archetype VII – Daughter in Shadow
Mother Archetype VIII – Mom Hater
Mother Archetype IX – Part Human, Part Supernatural
Mother Archetype X – Motherland
Mother Archetype XI – Teenage Crisis – Libido
Mother Archetype XII – Incest: Problem or Solution?