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Mother Archetype III – Don Juanism

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In this post we’ll talk more about the specific effects of dysfunctional mother bond that Jung observed in adult men.

He dubbed the first and most visible effect of failed separation Don Juanism. Or what we call Shiny Object Syndrome – jumping from one woman to the other in unconscious search of mother. Being torn between love life and emotional ties to mother, sense of guilt and betrayal, failure to build deep emotional bonds with partner, even madness-like behavior in relationships are some of characteristics of this type. Needless to say, such life abounds problems in sexual life, relationships, especially, in marriages.  

Infantile Romantic, Revolutionary Spirit

Interestingly, the whole career path of such men, as bright as it seems, would just be an infantile wish to make mother happy. Boy, is this type quite successful in professional territory. But such success often comes at a high cost. As successful professionals they concentrate on developing manly side and the persona they put outside. Continuously repressing emotional side, they leave that part underdeveloped. Shall I say, they carry kind of little miserable, deranged woman inside that squeaks through the mouth of that strong man when tempers are lost in a hot debate? Apparently, the longer this state continues, the wider the cleavage becomes between the image a man puts on the outside and emotional dilemmas that boggle him inside.

Mother Complex, on the other hand, manifests as bold and resolute manliness; ambitious striving after the highest goals; opposition to all stupidity, narrow-mindedness, willingness to make sacrifices for what is regarded as right – kind of infantile romanticism. They are revolutionary spirits which strive to put a new face on the old, tired world.

Sincerely, this description scares me when I think of heroes of all times. While we saw them as heroes, they were battling (albeit, outside) the devouring bonds of infantile attachments inside. Anyway, there is a good news for those struggling with this problem. It is natural and in fact, destined to happen and be resolved. The younger years it happens, the healthier. Just like our body learns to drag along with limp foot or broken arm, our psyche learns to drag on with misplaced attachment too. But it comes at the cost of personal life. It is about cutting off that energy from that infantile attachment to direct upwards. Tip: here a big role is played by the partner, on whom another archetype – Anima gets projected! Next post about men who at the other end of the curve.

Read previous posts of the series:
Mother Archetype I
Mother Archetype II – Son Lover of the Mother Goddess
Mother Archetype IV – Homosexuality and Impotence
Mother Archetype V – Exaggerated Maternal Instinct
Mother Archetype VI – Home-wrecker with a mission
Mother Archetype VII – Daughter in Shadow
Mother Archetype VIII – Mom Hater
Mother Archetype IX – Part Human, Part Supernatural
Mother Archetype X – Motherland
Mother Archetype XI – Teenage Crisis – Libido
Mother Archetype XII – Incest: Problem or Solution?

Mother Archetype II – Son Lover of the Mother Goddess

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As we said in the previous post, first we’ll talk about mother complex in sons, later in daughters (at infancy daughter-father relationship is the topic!). In the first years of infant’s life Mother is the safe heaven (warm container and nourisher). In the dark layers of our mind this tender bond of early childhood is registered as a perfect union. Jung has collected many examples – paintings, carvings etc. and labeled this relationship as “Son Lover of the Mother Goddess”. When we say lover, obviously we understand a sexual relationship. Yet in that dark land sexuality means more than just a sexual union (that too). Sex is the most representative example of instinctuality. Symbolically, it means a very strong bond – like one can’t exist without the other (by the way, many times it has the same meaning in dreams too – just a tip, if you ever happen to have that sort of dream, do not take it literally).

This perfection lasts until when? Puberty!  Intense changes start to take place in the psychic landscape of a son and a long lasting drama ensues. We all know how turbulent this period is for both boys and girls. Always, the least wanted kid at school has the “coolest parents” and life can’t be more miserable – we all have been there, right? Interestingly, this drama is even nastier inside our head, what gets to the surface is in fact just a tip of the iceberg. Again because this is never only about just a mother and her son.

Jung, C.G, (1956) Symbols of Transformation, pp205

Destined to separate

Did we say in the previous post that the psyche was like the Great Mother to our fragile rational mind? Now we are getting into a bit of dark forest. Let’s put it this way – in the early years of life human baby lives mostly an instinctual life (in other words, without the conscious mind) and develops cognitive mind slowly (and laboriously), right? As baby grows along the years of childhood, the conscious mind grows too. Putting it in a fancy word, at some point, plateau is hit. “The container”, the Great Mother (the unconscious) can’t hold it any more. Or, let’s say, the fruit is ripen now and the tree brunch can’t hold it any more, it is destined to fall, to get separated from the mother tree. I think I am getting too poetic here. Let’s come back to our topic.

Eventually, to grow further the conscious mind seeks to differentiate and separate itself from the dark mass/the unconscious. Obviously, the Great Mother gets mad and fights back. But it doesn’t end there. The fragile conscious, on one hand wants to stay in that safe heaven. While leaping into unknown territories, a.k.a life ahead feels dreadful, staying in is now more harmful bordering on neurosis. One hand pushes forward, another hand pulls back – and a bloody battle ensues within the unconscious content. That irritability and confusion the teenagers feel is just a shadow of the bloody battle going deep inside. However, if this process doesn’t happen, it is worrisome too….Stay for more…

Read other posts of the series:

Mother Archetype I
Mother Archetype III – Don Juanism
Mother Archetype IV – Homosexuality and Impotence
Mother Archetype V – Exaggerated Maternal Instinct
Mother Archetype VI – Home-wrecker with a mission
Mother Archetype VII – Daughter in Shadow
Mother Archetype VIII – Mom Hater
Mother Archetype IX – Part Human, Part Supernatural
other Archetype X – Motherland
Mother Archetype XI – Teenage Crisis – Libido
Mother Archetype XII – Incest: Problem or Solution?

The Mother Archetype I – The Great Mother

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The series of the Mother Archetype was published on social media first, namely, at my Instagram and facebook accounts where I post more frequently. Now, with few edits, I am publishing it here too. I’ll keep the number and lengths of the posts about the same. Let’s begin!

Tabula Rasa?

For a long time, scholars kept debating whether we are born as white papers (I mean our brains). Then some smart people started to suspect that our brain is capable of creating its own reality. Long debates of rhetoric revolved around the topic. Then psychoanalysts came along and took a more pragmatic position based on, let’s say, the data they collected from patients, or putting it less fancy, they summed up repetitive cases they have observed in their patients. One of them was Carl Gustav Jung, who suggested that when we are born, our body doesn’t have an animal shape. We do not look like clouds either. We have a definite shape that long history has formed. How come, this same thing didn’t happen inside our head? The same formation process must have taken place there too. He dedicated his whole life to the study of the structure of our psyche and reached some conclusions.

The Archetypes

According to his conclusions, our psyche has a structure – randomly organized crystal-form like boxes, or honeycomb. These boxes hold information based on feelings and feeling-toned thoughts. So, attention to the feeling toned thoughts or clouds of associated thoughts, which means they do not function the way we do in our waking life – no reason and no logic in there. He called them Archetypes. They are the ones that produce cryptic symbols, or primordial images as he sometimes called (this reminds me of the movie Da Vinci code). He even went further to say that we actually live in there and project everything to the outer world. Actually, these crystal form structures are powerful sources of energy. Apparently, one of these Archetypes is the Great Mother.

The Great Mother

Did we say that the feeling association is what keeps the information together inside those boxes? Anything that is associated with Containing, Nourishing and Safe Nest (keywords) activates the primordial image of Mother and we automatically project the Mother Archetype on that object. Now, the first object this archetype gets projected on is obviously actual Mother. Along the years as we grow up, get old and move towards the inevitable destination – the death, the projected objects of this Archetype change too.

Also read: The Unconscious – The Great Mother

Yet, I’d like to make an important projection that is ever present regardless which period of life we are at. The totality of psyche (or the unconscious) is like home (nest) to our rational mind that we’ve developed in the later years of evolution. So the psyche is like “mother” to this “new kid”. In times when our conscious ego faces difficulties in physical life (or the outer world), it craves to turn back home, to the unconscious depth, from where it “was born”. Do we repeat the same pattern in life? Yes, when we face hardships in life, we crave to go back to the carefree childhood or return to cozy home. Oops, we just did very common projection.

A recent claim of neuroscientist David Eaglemann that there is no smell, no sound and no color around us, we live in a pseudo reality translated to us by a skull-bound three pounds jelly matter called brain gave more scientific support to Jung’s suggestions.

I’ll stop here before going off-topic. We’ll talk about the Mother Archetype and its influence on sons in the following post.

Read other posts of the series:
Mother Archetype II – Son Lover of the Mother Goddess
Mother Archetype III – Don Juanism
Mother Archetype IV – Homosexuality and Impotence
Mother Archetype V – Exaggerated Maternal Instinct
Mother Archetype VI – Home-wrecker with a mission
Mother Archetype VII – Daughter in Shadow
Mother Archetype VIII – Mom Hater
Mother Archetype IX – Part Human, Part Supernatural
other Archetype X – Motherland
Mother Archetype XI – Teenage Crisis – Libido
Mother Archetype XII – Incest: Problem or Solution?

Photo: Pixabay.com, Gerd Altmann

Sexuality and Spirituality – the most twisted duo of our mind?

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When you look at the profile picture, what comes to your mind? Look again, with sense of humor and some fantasy…some more fantasy. I know what you think. Shame on you! This is Shiva and Shakti – we are talking about Gods. Kidding, you were right, it is both.

This picture is among the primeval depictions of God Shiva and Goddess Shakti – the sacred union. In this version the God Shiva is called Lingam. Just like the God Shiva, it is personification of the primordial cosmic energy. Visually, it is a phallus plunged into disc-like structure called Yoni – the Goddess Shakti. He symbolizes the spirit, reasoning and the penetrating nature of the consciousness. Yoni (Shakti) on the other hand, is pretty much female genitals. She represents the personification of feminine aspects of the God Shiva.

Read about Yayoi Kusama’s overly sexual art and how her uncontrollable energies took her on this journey.

A key in a lock may be a sexual symbol—but not invariably.... The door ... intended to symbolize hope, the lock to symbolize charity, and the key to symbolize the desire for God. Source: Man and his symbols, C.G.Jung Photo: Internet
A key in a lock may be a sexual symbol—but not invariably…. The door intended to symbolize hope, the lock to symbolize charity, and the key to symbolize the desire for God. Source: Man and his symbols, C.G.Jung Photo: Internet

Isn’t it weird? Maybe yes, maybe no. It turns out that sexual intercourse and sacred union are two sides of the same coin in the depth of our mind. Anything sexual has some theological meaning to it. For example, sexuality in dreams and moral doctrines doesn’t mean psychical sexuality, rather signifies reaching high spirituality.

The main challenge yet the ultimate bliss for us in the first half of life is sexuality and lustful love. In this period, sex translates as the holistic experience of our creative power. In other words, making babies – no matter how much we try to avoid it. The source of the most blissful pleasure is just the trap of the nature to keep our specie going. That’s why phallus symbolizes energy of universe, change and creation through destruction.

Sex as symbol of sacred union

On the contrary, when we’ve hit the zenith of our lives and proceed towards the death, the lure ahead is not phallus any more. It is the death. With all its daunting nature, the death is the promise of the eternal bliss. That’s why in the second half of life the meaning of these symbols reverse. They don’t mean penetration and creation any more. This is the period many people become religious. It expresses desire for union with divinity. In other words, need for spiritual growth and elevation of the spirit towards the sacred union of the polar opposites. More precisely, integration of our internal feminine and masculine aspects.  Alchemy calls this process the Sacred Marriage. So, The God Shiva and the Goddess Shakti are representations of celestial experience of sacred union of opposites.

Read about the Great Hermaphrodite a la Gucci, the feminine and masculine aspects are really confusing but quite eye-opening.

Learning to channel the life energy through this cycle is challenge for each of us. If one fails, this energy takes a regressive and destructive form. That is when many people suffer mid-life crisis, find life meaningless and entertain the idea of suicide.

Read about Yayoi Kusama’s overly sexual art and how she was affected by regressive nature of the life energy.

Other related articles:
Symbols of sexuality – 1. The cup and the spoon
Symbols of sexuality – 2. The Deer Hunt
Symbols of sexuality – 3. The ax and the door