As we said in the previous post, first we’ll talk about mother complex in sons, later in daughters (at infancy daughter-father relationship is the topic!). In the first years of infant’s life Mother is the safe heaven (warm container and nourisher). In the dark layers of our mind this tender bond of early childhood is registered as a perfect union. Jung has collected many examples – paintings, carvings etc. and labeled this relationship as “Son Lover of the Mother Goddess”. When we say lover, obviously we understand a sexual relationship. Yet in that dark land sexuality means more than just a sexual union (that too). Sex is the most representative example of instinctuality. Symbolically, it means a very strong bond – like one can’t exist without the other (by the way, many times it has the same meaning in dreams too – just a tip, if you ever happen to have that sort of dream, do not take it literally).
This perfection lasts until when? Puberty! Intense changes start to take place in the psychic landscape of a son and a long lasting drama ensues. We all know how turbulent this period is for both boys and girls. Always, the least wanted kid at school has the “coolest parents” and life can’t be more miserable – we all have been there, right? Interestingly, this drama is even nastier inside our head, what gets to the surface is in fact just a tip of the iceberg. Again because this is never only about just a mother and her son.
Destined to separate
Did we say in the previous post that the psyche was like the Great Mother to our fragile rational mind? Now we are getting into a bit of dark forest. Let’s put it this way – in the early years of life human baby lives mostly an instinctual life (in other words, without the conscious mind) and develops cognitive mind slowly (and laboriously), right? As baby grows along the years of childhood, the conscious mind grows too. Putting it in a fancy word, at some point, plateau is hit. “The container”, the Great Mother (the unconscious) can’t hold it any more. Or, let’s say, the fruit is ripen now and the tree brunch can’t hold it any more, it is destined to fall, to get separated from the mother tree. I think I am getting too poetic here. Let’s come back to our topic.
Eventually, to grow further the conscious mind seeks to differentiate and separate itself from the dark mass/the unconscious. Obviously, the Great Mother gets mad and fights back. But it doesn’t end there. The fragile conscious, on one hand wants to stay in that safe heaven. While leaping into unknown territories, a.k.a life ahead feels dreadful, staying in is now more harmful bordering on neurosis. One hand pushes forward, another hand pulls back – and a bloody battle ensues within the unconscious content. That irritability and confusion the teenagers feel is just a shadow of the bloody battle going deep inside. However, if this process doesn’t happen, it is worrisome too….Stay for more…
Read other posts of the series:
Mother Archetype I
Mother Archetype III – Don Juanism
Mother Archetype IV – Homosexuality and Impotence
Mother Archetype V – Exaggerated Maternal Instinct
Mother Archetype VI – Home-wrecker with a mission
Mother Archetype VII – Daughter in Shadow
Mother Archetype VIII – Mom Hater
Mother Archetype IX – Part Human, Part Supernatural
other Archetype X – Motherland
Mother Archetype XI – Teenage Crisis – Libido
Mother Archetype XII – Incest: Problem or Solution?
