In this post we’ll talk more about the specific effects of dysfunctional mother bond that Jung observed in adult men.
He dubbed the first and most visible effect of failed separation Don Juanism. Or what we call Shiny Object Syndrome – jumping from one woman to the other in unconscious search of mother. Being torn between love life and emotional ties to mother, sense of guilt and betrayal, failure to build deep emotional bonds with partner, even madness-like behavior in relationships are some of characteristics of this type. Needless to say, such life abounds problems in sexual life, relationships, especially, in marriages.
Infantile Romantic, Revolutionary Spirit
Interestingly, the whole career path of such men, as bright as it seems, would just be an infantile wish to make mother happy. Boy, is this type quite successful in professional territory. But such success often comes at a high cost. As successful professionals they concentrate on developing manly side and the persona they put outside. Continuously repressing emotional side, they leave that part underdeveloped. Shall I say, they carry kind of little miserable, deranged woman inside that squeaks through the mouth of that strong man when tempers are lost in a hot debate? Apparently, the longer this state continues, the wider the cleavage becomes between the image a man puts on the outside and emotional dilemmas that boggle him inside.
Mother Complex, on the other hand, manifests as bold and resolute manliness; ambitious striving after the highest goals; opposition to all stupidity, narrow-mindedness, willingness to make sacrifices for what is regarded as right – kind of infantile romanticism. They are revolutionary spirits which strive to put a new face on the old, tired world.
Sincerely, this description scares me when I think of heroes of all times. While we saw them as heroes, they were battling (albeit, outside) the devouring bonds of infantile attachments inside. Anyway, there is a good news for those struggling with this problem. It is natural and in fact, destined to happen and be resolved. The younger years it happens, the healthier. Just like our body learns to drag along with limp foot or broken arm, our psyche learns to drag on with misplaced attachment too. But it comes at the cost of personal life. It is about cutting off that energy from that infantile attachment to direct upwards. Tip: here a big role is played by the partner, on whom another archetype – Anima gets projected! Next post about men who at the other end of the curve.
Read previous posts of the series:
Mother Archetype I
Mother Archetype II – Son Lover of the Mother Goddess
Mother Archetype IV – Homosexuality and Impotence
Mother Archetype V – Exaggerated Maternal Instinct
Mother Archetype VI – Home-wrecker with a mission
Mother Archetype VII – Daughter in Shadow
Mother Archetype VIII – Mom Hater
Mother Archetype IX – Part Human, Part Supernatural
Mother Archetype X – Motherland
Mother Archetype XI – Teenage Crisis – Libido
Mother Archetype XII – Incest: Problem or Solution?
